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| This item is currently being transcribed by a volunteer. We look forward to making the full text of this document available soon. | | This item is currently being transcribed by a volunteer. We look forward to making the full text of this document available soon. |
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− | Head Quarters M Laws Divn.
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− | My dear Sister Cynt. Aug 11, 1863.
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− | I received your most welcome letter this
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− | morning & wrote at once to Uncle Alex Seddon &
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− | will send the communication off by tomorrow's
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− | mail. You {?] in reply it wd [?] to it
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− | of two months ago. Have you not received one of
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− | much later date? I wrote to you as soon as I heard
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− | of Bland's strange & startling act and have most
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− | eagerly looked for a reply. You convey however in
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− | the letter just received the information I chiefly
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− | sought-for I write in the earnest desire to know what
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− | your feelings & course wd be in the matter. I am glad
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− | to see that you acted as I wd have wished, so far
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− | at least as I can judge from what you tell me
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− | without having seen your letter to Bland.
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− | I am indeed sorry that she has not replied to your letter,
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− | but am quite sure she has now done so, & hope it was
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− | her speedy departure Gloucester rather than any
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− | intention to slight you, which prevented her responding
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− | more promptly.
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− | We agree very closely my dear sister in many of our
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− | views & I dare say your letter was very much like
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− | mine. Whilst expressing my poignant sorrow at
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− | the step she had taken, and my astonishment that
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− | she wd have I am so without consulting either her
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− | {page break}
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− | husband, her mother or yourself. I told her likewise
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− | that if the new faith she preferred, & adopted with such
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− | apparent earnestness, and in the face of such opportunity
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− | really wrought a change in her life & character, it
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− | might perhaps in the end have reason no longer to
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− | grieve at her choice, but I told her frankly that
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− | unless that change did take place, or if I had
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− | reason to suppose she was captivated by the other forms
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− | of religion & not really moved by its holier spirit, and
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− | that disregarding the happiness of her family & friends
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− | she had thoughtfully or carefully gone counter to their
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− | wishes in so serious a point, she would have added
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− | the capstone to my misery.
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− | I trust that however erroneous her views she has been
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− | activated by a conscientious belief. It is deeply mortifying
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− | to me & must be to you all, to think that Bland would have
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− | concealed her wishes or purpose from us, whilst she confided
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− | in, sought consul of & heartened to, those whose very
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− | society both your mother and myself have mainly tried
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− | to convince her not to cultivate beyond the requirements
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− | of politeness & kindly feeling.
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− | It is indeed mortifying to me that your father's daughter & my
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− | wife shd have as her most intimate friends those so far below
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− | her in social position, & that they shd obtain such an ascen
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− | dency over her mind as to induce her to desert the
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− | faith in which she has been brought up, plant thorns
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− | in the pillow of her mother & build between her
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− | {page break}
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− | husband & herself a wall that can not be [?] and
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− | may never be pulled down! It is in vain that I have
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− | tried to reconcile myself to the strange reality. I have prayed
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− | earnestly to God for strength to bear as I shd this mysterious
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− | dispensation. I have reasoned on the subject on the broadest
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− | grounds of Christian charity. I have debated the question in all
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− | its worldly bearings, and still I can come no nearer to
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− | acquiescence in what seems to me an uncomfortable
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− | inflexible, & I almost feel inclined to say unfavorable
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− | act. Had there been any necessity for haste or secrecy I
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− | might understand it. Had there been any reason for a want
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− | of confidence in me I might excuse it. Had it been a
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− | matter of less serious consequence, even the indiscretion
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− | of youth might have atoned for the thoughtlessness of such
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− | precipitation - but there is nothing of the kind to [?]
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− | the act, for I had told Bland a year ago that
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− | if she continued unshaken in her belief & her wishes
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− | after due time for consideration, and inquiry into the
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− | subject, I would not go so far as to face her conscience
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− | or prohibit arbitrarily where I could not influence or
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− | persuade.
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− | After some consideration & a little time for thought she
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− | told me she had been mistaken in her feelings &
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− | [?], and often since that, has she assured me in
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− | the very words you quote that she "had gotten over
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− | that foolishness."
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− | So much for the matter. My only hope, like your own
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− | {page break}
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− | is I must confess a feverish one, & based solely on the
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− | removal from evil influences which have exerted so
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− | great an influence over a young & uninformed mind.
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− | As regards my relations with Bland in every other
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− | particular I have had the greatest reason for [?]
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− | [?]. For months she has secured all that all that
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− | I could wish, and even I no longer complained
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− | that she was undemonstrative, for in her greeting when I
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− | saw her, and in the letters she sent me, I saw one
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− | unmistakable growth of affection & interest
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− | In many respects her character has greatly
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− | improved- and I hear from many sources the same
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− | testimonial. Never since my marriage despite the
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− | trying nature of separation, was I as happy as I
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− | have been for the last three or four months, &
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− | the sad changed face of which you spoke once more
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− | bore its usual [?] of light hearted mirth &
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− | happiness, until I received this late unexpected
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− | blow.
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− | Her letters, I have received lately, are
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− | still couched in the most affectionate & tender lan-
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− | -guage and if professions of love are worth any
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− | thing, I am obliged beyond my expectations.
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− | She speaks of being in every respect pleasantly
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− | situated at Belleville, of being usefully employed
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− | in various ways , and of only wanting my presence
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− | to render her completely happy. This I can not
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− | understand because it wd be utterly impossible
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− | for me under any circumstances to be so, had I
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− | caused grief to those I love. But people differ.
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− | She never mentions now her new faith- and I
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− | doubt if she has informed any one of it. I have however,
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− | for I do not care chose to conceal the fact, and that the
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− | deed is over and is irrevocable.
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− | I wd give a great deal to see & talk to you about
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− | this & other matters, but I feel it will be a long long time
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− | [?] [?] see each other again.
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This item is currently being transcribed by a volunteer. We look forward to making the full text of this document available soon.