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Head Quarters M Laws Divn.
My dear Sister Cynt. Aug 11. 1863.
I received your most welcome letter this
morning & wrote at once to Uncle Alex Seddon & will send the communication off by the tomorrow's
mail. You [?] in reply to it wd seem to a letter
of two months ago. Have you not received one of much later date? I wrote to you as soon as I heard of Bland's strange & startling act and have most eagerly looked for a reply. You convey however in the letter just received the information I chiefly sought-for I write in the earnest desire to know what your feelings & course wd be in the matter. I am glad to see that you acted as I wd have wished, so far at least as I can judge from what you tell me without having seen your letter to Bland.
I am indeed sorry that she has not replied to your letter,
but am quite sure she has now done so, & hope it was her speedy departure Gloucester rather than any intention to slight you, which prevented her responding more promptly.
We agree very closely my dear sister in many of our
views & I dare say your letter was very much like mine. Whilst expressing my poignant sorrow at the step she had taken, and my astonishment that she wd have done so so without consulting either her
husband, her mother or yourself. I told her likewise that if the new faith she prefered, & adopted with such apparent earnestness, and in the face of such opportunity really wrought a change in her life & character, I might perhaps in the end have reason no longer to grieve at her choice, but I told her frankly that unless that change did take place, or if I had reason to suppose she was captivated by the other forms of religion & not really moved by its holier spirit, and that disregarding the happiness of her family & friends she had thoughtfully or carefully gone counter to their wishes in so serious a point, she would have added the cap stone to my misery I trust that however erroneous her views she has been activated by a conscientious belief. It is deeply mortifying to me & must be to you all, to think that Bland would have concealed her wishes or purpose from us , whilst she confided in, sought consul of & heartened to, those whose very society both your mother and myself have mainly tried to convince her not to cultivate beyond the requirements of politeness & kindly feeling. It is indeed mortifying to me that your father's daughter & my wife shd have as her most intimate friends those so far below her in social position, & that they shd obtain such an ascen dency over her mind as to induce her to desert the faith in which she has been brought up, plant thorns in the pillow of her mother & build between her
husband & herself a wall that can not be scaled and may never be pulled down! It is in vain that I have tried to reconcile myself to the strange reality. I have prayed earnestly to God for strength to bear as I shd this mysterious dispensation. I have reasoned on the subject on the broadest grounds of Christian charity. I have debated the question in all its worldly bearings, and still I can come no nearer to acquiescence in what seems to me an uncomfortable inexplicable, & I almost feel inclined to say unfavorable act. Had there been any necessity for haste or secrecy I might understand it. Had there been any reason for a want of confidence in me I might excuse it. Had it been a matter of less serious consequence, even the indiscretion of youth might have atoned for the thoughtlessness of such precipitation - but there is nothing of the kind to facilitate the act for I had told Bland a year ago that if she continued unshaken in her belief & her wishes after due time for consideration, and inquiry into the subject, I would not go so far as to face her conscience or prohibit arbitrarily where I could not influence or persuade.
After some consideration & a little time for thought she
told me she had been mistaken in her feelings & opinion, and often since that, has she assured me in the very words you quote that she "had gotten over that foolishness." So much for the matter. My only hope, like your own
is I must confess a feverish one, & based solely on the removal from evil influences which have exerted so great an influence over a young & uninformed mind.
As regards my relations with Bland in every other
particular I have had the greatest reason for [?] [?]. For months she has secured all that all that I could wish, and even I no longer complained that she was undemonstrative, for in her greeting when I saw her, and in the letters she sent me, I saw one unmistakable growth of affection & interest
In many respects her character has greatly
improved- and I hear from many sources the same testimonial. Never since my marriage despite the trying nature of separation, was I as happy as I have been for the last three or four months, & the sad changed face of which you spoke once more bore its usual [?] of light hearted mirth & happiness, until I received this late unexpected blow.
Her letters, I have received lately, are
still couched in the most affectionate & tender lan- -guage and if professions of love are worth any thing, I am blessed beyond my expectations.
She speaks of being in every respect pleasantly
situated at Belleville, of being usefully employed in various ways , and of only wanting my presence to render her completely happy. This I can not understand because it wd be utterly impossible for me under any circumstances to be so, had I caused grief to those I love. But people differ. She never mentions now her new faith- and I doubt if she has informed any one of it. I have however, for I do not care chose to conceal the fact, and that the deed is over and is unrevocable. I wd give a great deal to see & talk to you about this & other matters, but I feel it will be a long long time we [?] see each other again.
Aug. 11, 1863
You ask me to tell you something about Gettysburg. Can any thing be added to the details of report or criticism, with which every newspaper has been flooded? But I suppose you wish to have my opinion in the case. Well! The battle was is I think one to be regretted, could it have been avoided, but that I doubt. We were making a bold blow for a proud victory, & surely would have enabled us to dictate terms of Peace from the Federal Capitol but it was from the first an undertaking of the greatest doubt & irresponsibility, a failure all believed would be the destruction of our army & the blasting of our hopes. We accpeted the issue - & struck for the victory. We inflicted terrible losses on the enemy, but sacrificed many of our own brave soldiers. We drove the enemy at every point back to his inaccessible mountain of refuge, where the impracticable & unexplained nature of the ground prevented our turning defeat into rout & destruction. Sepatated as we were from our base of supplies, without the stores necessary, for the prosecu -tion of every continued conflict, we were reluctantly forcerd to fall back upon our base, but with our face to the foe, who did not dare to give us the battle he constantly threatened.
Returning from to Maryland we took our position in
the neighborhood of Hagerstown & there threw down the rage of battle but the very army which was so exultant in its braggart Reports, so elated as the discomforture
of the Army of Northern VA, so intent upon capturing Lee & his entire command, lacked the hardihood to venture on a second encounter, and when they saw that we awaited their march, actually threw up entrenchemnts to protect them from our dreaded attack. Many were disposed to blame General Lee but I think there was at no time any [?] for such a course. The Army went into Pensylvania with a spirit of over- -whelming confidence in their [?] [?] [?] for the skill of their generals. They did not realize that they could be thwarted, and believe that God in his wisdom, allowed our failure that we might learn from our confidence in him & not in Generals and prevent that exaltation & vain glory which we have [?] attended our full success. That we were defeated is [?] as far as the mere battle went it was decidely a victory. But the Campaign could not be carried on afterwards as had been originally intended, for want of supplies & force. In no battle of the war has there been more heroism exhibited- in no battle has there ben less cause to find fault with commanders. Difficulties far greater than any one had previously encountered met us there & to my mind we have the gretaest cause for gratitude that so much was accomplished. We not only inflicted terrible loss upon the splendidly equipped army of Genl Meade, but we carried terror to the hearts of Yankeedom, and opened their eye to the evils of invasion and the possibility of its reoccurence, facts that had I doubt not, a decided peace influence and finally we returned to our houses, connected by such masterly skill that friend or foe were alike were filled with wonder & admiration at the success of the withdrawal. So much for my views of Gettysburg. I wd have preferred giving an arm or risking my life in a dozen battles to coming back, but it was deemed [?] to do so and I suppose it was correct, though I was truely anxious to fight & whip the Vandals on their own soil.
One more little scrap & I have done. Give my best love to Dr Coleman & my little nephew, who I know can not but be a very fine fellow. Write to me whenever you can and feel sure that I [?] the greatest confidence in your interest & regard both for Bland & myself. Know moreover that however deeply I may feel what I have confessed in strong language, that my wife is nevertheless the dearest effect I have on earth, and that whatever faults I may discover, or other may point out, I yet leve her truly and tenderly whilst I pray
Aug 11, 1863 God that his spirit may so work with her, as to reform all that is amiss, strenghten [?] [?] impulse, & lead her at length in the way of true piety & holiness.
Please destroy this letter. I wd have no other eyes
than yours to read it, for I wish no one else have said one tenth of what I have written, but I know that you know all, and that you can enter into & appreciate my feelings. Let us then my dear Suster unite our prayers & are efforts for Bland's future good. It is my chief desire. God bless you. Ever affecty yrs.
E.T.
