.OTI5.MTUwMQ
Clarksville October 13th 1863
Tuesday afternoon
Well, the China has come, and
while Mama & Helen are busy unpacking it
I will endeavor to write a few lines to my beloved
Husband. Mama & Helen may be heard to say
every moment or two well, "here we have a goblet,
and it ain't broken." "Here's Mamy Kitty o milk
pot, and it ain't broken." Oh! dear ain't I glad
to see that," then in more mournful tones from
Mama "Oh! here's another plate broken, we
shan't have enough to go around, Oh! I am
so sorry" - Then I chime in "it is a pity that
china is broken" Helen says you would be
delighted to be here, that you are the greatest
[sooter?] that ever live. How truly do I wish you
were here. I have been heart sick for you, indeed,
sometimes I have felt almost like writing
to beg you to give up your position and come
back to me, I feel some times that it is
impossible for me to get along without you,
my cares press so heavily on my unprotected
shoulders that often I think I shall sink under
[2]
the burden, my patriotism fails me almost,
and I weep and think that write for my
Husband I must. I hesitate less in saying all
this to you, in knowing so well that nothing can
tempt you to swerve from the path that you
considered to be the one of duty - still, I am
hoping that something may make you think
yourself not needed in the Army, and God
knows I need your sustaining arm. I
conclude day by day that I won't take life
so hard, but each day finds me [...ling?]
"worrying" to try and accomplish certain
ends, which at the end of each day are
still unattained, my unaided efforts
fall through, and weary and worn I go to
my room, and pray for pardon for my sins,
and strength to serve in a better spirit for
the future, and it does help me, at least, for
a little while. Charley is perfectly lovely, but he
too, is a source of trouble. Saturday I had him to take
care of while Sally washed her clothes, and to super
-intend Toby who has taken three days to clean
one room, and I thought I should have gone
[3]
crazy with fatigue before night fall. What
rather aggravates the [?] is that Helen has a
free day, while I have none but the Lord's day, while
she goes off, to spend the nights and days I
stay home & work for the common good, while
it never seems to enter her head that a little help
for her might relieve me, and enable me
too to have a little rest, at least, if not enjoy
=ment. I confess that [these?] thought make the
burden oppressive, which other wise I should
take as a matter of course. I think my Husband
would help me, at least, by his sympathy if
nothing else. Our boy, our blessed baby, is
at this moment pulling Helen, and saying
Helen most unmistakably. He has a thousand
winning way, holds out his hand, when you
say good morning to him, puts up his mouth
to kiss you, carry's potato peelings to the pigs
of which we own number two. Yesterday Charley
walked two or three times from Miss Sally to
me. I can't tell you half of the babys charms &
from my heart I do want you to see him. I wish
you could hear him smack his lips over sweet
[4]
potatoes. We have a plenty to eat. Hopkins
sent me $42 the other day by Dr. Semple who
called to see me a few afternoons since. I have
never heard a word from Mr. Paine, and
in desperation wrote to Montague to look [it?] the money up for
me. Tim wrote about ten days ago to beg to come
saying, he was tired of writing. I have written for
him, but it seems impossible to get his room ready.
I hope, Mr. Hodges may come before long. The
sight of his good, kind face would soothe
me. Belle came yesterday to claim the
kiss you sent her. [Genge?] is as kind as she
can be. Miss Sally is at home again.
Some how I don't take to Miss Emily. I have
not been out there for an age, but will try to
go to-morrow. Helen says, after looking at
a great many broken things, "Well we are better
off that Dr. Shield, for he had all of his China
broken. There has been great breakage. My
beloved Husband, do write to me. It has been so
long since I heard from you. I forgot to tell you
I have been very unwell, a wretched cold and
cough, which lacerates my throat. Poor Cousin
[Marginalia, Pg 1]
Virgin Burke is dead. I have heard no particulars. How are you, I fear
[moving?] about
keeps you
too well.
Your devoted
Wife.
We are getting
in
wood
Be sure
to write
to me
on our
wedding
day.
