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Chaffin’s bluff Batteries Nov[ember] 13th, 1862

My dear Wife:

Yours of Nov[ember] 6th was received yesterday, - I had been to Richmond again to look after our boxes, and returned to camp tired and low-spirited, when Daniel gave me your long, good letter. I met with Ned Morse in R[ichmond], who has come down with Willie Wilson’s wife – saw him but a short time, and only learned in a gener- al way that all were well in the neigh- borhood. Also, as I came out in a wagon saw [...ht?], (Dick Watkin’s overseer) standing on the side-walk. They reminded me very much of old Granville, and I have been thinking of home, & wishing more for a few days at home, since, than ever. And then you letters always telling of soldiers, young, single men, at home, - and telling of things at and around home, - I am beginning almost to feel, as if my time will never come – to feel a great effort necessary

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in forcing myself to look upon the bright side of anything. I know that such feelings are very wrong, but I cannot help hav- ing them frequently now, and when they do come, finding them very hard to get rid of. But I ought not to write such things if I do feel them. I am glad to see that you not only take such interest in things at home, but are getting indepen- dent enough to make the trip there, in a buggy, & no escort but a little negro. Am glad, too, that Smiley will be exempt on account of his age from the conscript act, and will remain to take care of my affairs. You have no idea how anx- ious I feel about my farm matters – think every day of what they are doing & what they ought to be doing at home. I had pretty well made up my mid to get a substitute, but after reading your account of the state of things in re- gard to the [struck-through] substitutes & 20-negro men in

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the neighborhood, and your feelings about Buck Daniel’s course, I have deter- mined to wait a while and see more before I take this step. My own feelings & desire to get home, are such, that I have very little opinion of my judgement [underscored] about the matter, and feel willing to trust it but a very little ways. My mind has been in a perfect “see-saw” on this subject for several weeks. – one day up, & the next down; and I fre- quently feel that I would give a great deal for a friend in whose judgment I had perfect [underscored] confidence, who could fully ap- preciate my feelings & thoughts, & then give me disinterested advice. I am al- most afraid, your faith in “my high sense of honor & duty,” & your “confidence in my judgments & opinion” would be terribly shak- en, if you could always know my thoughts, & the [sophistry?] of the reasons or arguments’ which I continually encourage to suggest

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gest [struck-through] themselves. But enough of this – I will only add, that while I am conscious of not [desiring?] it at all, nothing makes me happier, than to know that I do have always [underscored] & [wherever?] [underscored] I am, your [underscored] good opinion & your love. [‘your love’ underscored] Oh, Darling, I could give up freely, willingly, cheer- fully, all else that I have [but?] this. [underscored] With this I can be happy always, - with- out it, never. I understood from your letter that your Pa [wished?] to hire me Lucy. I hardly know what to say at buying them, even on the favorable con- ditions your Pa offers. My debts now amount to about $7000 or $8000 if not more, and to add on several thousand more just now may be [venturing?] too much. If I could sell three or four thousand dollars worth of land, I would be very glad to make this arrangement with your Pa. I don’t think your Pa remem- bers exactly how deeply in debt I still

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still am – even after paying off my land bonds to Tom Taylor. (By the way please get him to find out [‘please...out’ underscored] how much I still owe Taylor, & write me, as soon as possible.) Still, if you [underscored] & your Pa think it will be well for me to buy Lucy & the chil- dren you named, I will be satisfied that it will be all right. Just now, with my mind in the condition that it is, and not knowing exactly what my farm is netting me, and what the prospects on it for another year are, I feel entirely in- competent to decide either way, & leave it entirely with you & your Pa. Write in your next what you & he intend doing about it. Write also the quantity of wheat & oats I have sowed this year, & how much wheat I will have for sale & how many H[og]h[ea]ds of tobacco I will have. Think now is a good time to sell tobacco. I will just state here that sweet & irish potatoes, peas, & apples are bringing almost fabulous

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prices in R[ich]mond & in the army. If your Pa has such things to spare, it is worth the trouble to send them in bags or barrels (if obliged to buy barrels) to South Boston [‘South Boston’ underscored] [Halifax County, Va.] & have them shipped to Jno. [John] Booker or some other commission merchant for sale. Sweet potatoes (retail price) at from 10 to 20 c[en]ts a pound [underscored]; ap- ples, “three for a quarter;” fresh butter $2.00 a pound; bacon, 75 c[en]ts hog round; lard 60 c[en]ts etc. I have been careful to inquire into such things. Cider & vin- egar at from 30 c[en]ts to $1.00 per quart. I received a letter a few days since from Pattie & also one from Bro[ther] Will. Bro[ther] Dick is at home slightly wounded on the head with a sabre cut. He is now, by Dr. Berkeley’s resignation, the Capt[ain] of his comp[an]y. In charging the Yankees, in a little skirmish, his horse became unmanageable & carried the [struck-through] him into their midst. He cut several, & then re-

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ceived his wound. Seeing he would be cap- tured, he fell from his horse & thus escaped. Gen[era]l Stewart complimented him. Ma had gotten a letter from Sister B[etsey] (I think I men- tioned this) Henry was to marry a lady in Conn[ecticut] in May* & start for India. The others were all well – Some of the children at home & some at school (Lest I should forget it – Be shure [struck-through] sure to caution the girls about handling Abe’s letters. I saw he was writing to [Le’s?] mother, & slip- ped a little note in his envelope telling her he was badly troubled with itch. He found it out after his letter was nearly mailed, & went & took it out of the office, & opened it in order to get my note. He then wrote something about me, I dont know what. Tell Sis[ter] M[artha] if she will send him a fine comb instead of hair, it will be a more suitable present. I think the girls had always better burn his letter as soon as they read them, & then wash their hands)

*The letter was dated April. 

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I have just found out, that finding his first letter smelled of sulphur, he burned it, & wrote another. If he doesn’t correspond with Bella, don’t let her know of it) Mr. Booker wrote that he had made Cousins [?] to make my & Daniels boots. If cousins cannot make them I would like to have a pair made at Col[onel] Gregory’s as soon as possible, as I found from the little snow we had the other day, it will be very bad thins winter without boots. Tell Charley he hasn’t answered my last letter – did he take his turkey hunt? Tell Minnie I will send her a little doll the first chance. Court has been taking a recess of several days, & I have had nothing to do. – I am very sorry you couldn’t be near me during its session, I could have staid with you nearly all the time. It will adjourn in a few days now, & I will return to duty. – God bless my precious N[athianel] V. W[atkins]

[Marginalia – left side of page 1] Nov[ember] 14th – I received my trunk last night with everything safe in it – I have now enough

Marginalia – right side of page 1] clothing of all kinds, with the shirts (flannel) in the box which is coming – have enough

[Marginalia – left side of page 2] Socks – My flannel drawers are getting a little thin, & I may need 2 pair of thick ones

[Marginalia – right side of page 2] during the winter – You can have them made at your leisure, so that I can get them whenever I shall need them. Our new uniforms also came last night. Not as pretty

[Marginalia- page 3] and do not fit as well as we had expected, but are made of very good [denim?]

[Marginalia – left side of page 4] cloth, & are very comfortable. The cloth was bought just before I joined the company, and

[Marginalia – right side of page 4] thus we got it quite cheap - $23. It would cost now $45. at least