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Camp Schofield St Louis Dec 23rd 1862

I have now a few moments of leisure time which I can devote to the pleasure of writing to you. It is a long time since I received any thing from you and as you may well suppose that I am very anxious to hear from you. But I suppose that I can wait for I know that it will take some time for a letter to go chasing all over creation and the rest of upper canada to find me. The last letter that I received from you was when I was last at home at Civil Bend in Fremont Co. Iowa. That was on my last visit home for three years I suppose. And I visited pretty fast for I had only three days to visit in. But I should have visited much harder if I could have been with you. But that could not be and so I did the best that I could under the circumstances. We left St Josephs on the morn ing of the Nineteenth of this month and took the Hannibal and St Joseph RR to Macon Mo. and there took the North Missouri R.R. and arrived here last night. We spent last night in the famous Benton Barracks and at two O clock this morning I received orders to have the company ready to march by seven o clock. The boys were already at five instead of seven notwithstanding they had not had a regular meal or an uninterrupted hours sleep since we left St Joseph. We finally arrived here about 12 o clock and are duly installed as Provost Guard of the City of St Louis. Camp Schofield is somewhere near the vicinity of the heart of this Queen City of the west and is a well appointed and finely arran ged barrack with the exception that there is no room for a parade ground or drilling place. But we have no time for drilling as we have nearly all the city to look after. Our being brought here to do simply guard duty is to me a serious disappointment for we wanted to go into the field and join in helping to fight and assist our friends in the field that have long needed us. But all such hopes must vanish for the present and here we lie with the well being and good order of the good City of Saint Louis and about twenty five hundred Secession prisoners to guard. It is a pity too for we have the name of being the finest Reg- iment that ever came into Saint Louis. and we have had some difficulty in con vincing a great many that we were not more than one Regiment. If we should stay here there will be one advantage that i can hear regularly from you after you once get to directing here and that will be to me a great consolation or rather privilige.

You must not get cross because I sometimes have written short letters for I can not any more be master of my own time as fully as I would like to be and sometimes have to write on the spur of the moment and in a moment too. From the time that this letter is written for a week I shall not probably have time to write another and then after that I hope to have more leisure and shall then attempt to write to my dear five hundred friends in Iowa who wanted me to be sure ans write as soon as I could. But they must wait until Etta is served and business will permit.

Oh Etta could I see you once more now and be by your side listen to the music of your voice once more and revive old times by a few of those old fashioned songs that once on a time we we used to sing when we couldnt appreciate it as we cou[...] now. I should for the time being be perfectly happy but then there would be the misery of parting and now that would be misery to me indeed. but I have now no hopes of an opportunity. When I was home last one of the girls that formed our set played [?]are Dell. for me and sang it too. It awakened a chord of memory that I had hoped to keep silent. I could scarce restrain the tears man that I am. The surroundings too were rather the same as we used to have. She was very much such a person as you used to be only her eyes were black as coals, and she had just about such a spice of coquetry in her nature as there used to be in Etta in days of yore. It seemed to me that i could see Etta almost althoug[...] the voice was not so musical, nor the playing quite so correct. I had very much such a chat with her as we used to have minus considerable. But don't get jealous Etta. One image enshrined in the [portals] depths of an honest heart excludes all others. But I dont fear your getting jealous for I trust you to have too much good sense to commit that folly. You must be sure and get your sister Lee to write for I want to re- new my acquaintance in that part of the states for I don't want to come back to a land of strangers when the war is over. Now will be your best time to send your miniature for if it starts soon it will in all probability reach me before I leave here and I should and I cannot tell you how anxious I am to receive it. The likeness that I have is a very good one and I prize it highly but I should so much like to have a likeness that would give the expression of the face That dearest face on Earth to one and the one on which all my hopes of happiness rest. Could I tell you all I feel you would know whether you have my whole heart of not. If this letter doesnt interest you, you must lat it on the boys for one of our company. Leroy by name, formerly one of Cleavelands lieutenants and he is spinning some interesting yars about his adventures with the Guerrillas of Missouri and Kansas, and besides that I am asked about a thousand questions about every thing by the men.

You once asked me what place I hold I am First Sergeant of Company C. But you must not direct your letters in that manner for I do not intend to hold the position any longer than I can help for I do not like it and when the company gets fully organ ized and in good working trim with all their Books and matters moving on smoothly I intend to resign and take my place in the ranks again. The position is one of the most responsibility of any in the company offices except the Captain, although it does not rank as high as either of the Lieutenants. But position or profit is not what I am after and if I come out of this war square pecuniarily I shall be well satisfied for I expected to give these three years in service to the Uncle Sam and had it not been for the furtherance of the organization of the Regiment I would never have held any post. It is enough for me to know that I am capable of holding office and I am willing that the positions should be held by those that aspire for them.

I shall write to you as often as I can and you must not wait for an answer but write as often as you can, for I think once a week is seldom enough to hear from you, for after we leave here I do not expect to ever get more than one fourth of the letters you write. I feel some like complain ing about our postal arrangments but dont know who to blame and so had not better blame any body. I have just finished calling the roll and the men are all retiring and I shall have a few moments to myself now. Could those few mo ments be spent in you society how earnestly would I converse unless I could get you to talking and then what happiness it would be to listen to your voice and hear those tones for which I am so lonely. The Guard that is standing post oppo site my window is singing the old song of Bingen on the Rhine. It sounds beautifully in the still night air. How many of our brave and gallant boys will be made acquain[...] ed with the stern realities of the Song before the war is over. In Benton Barracks we saw some old Regiments that went into the field with almost a full quota of men one year ago and now number from two hundred and eighty to five hundred only. I tell you Etta it is a melancholy thought that so many of our men should thus die. No one can form any just conception of the misery produced by this war and its demoralizing effect until they have been in the ranks and gone over the grounds and seen things as they are. Sometimes I feel almost discouraged sometimes and have to bring my mind back to the trust in God and the justice of our cause to renew my confidence in our final success. I shall probably have no time to write more in this after to night and my time is nearly up now. Pray for me Etta and do not forget me. I still think that we shall see many happy years together. I shall have some photographs taken while I am here and shall send you one just as soon as i can have them taken. You will be disappointed as much in my looks as I presume you will be in my society should we ever meet. But still I should risk a meeting was there any opportunity and do so gladly too. Your love has been my best hope and shall be and that girlish figure and that sweet face of yours is still the dearest image treasured in my heart. But I must close. Do write soon and often and tell me everything about every body dont forget any one that you and I used to know. Will you. are you still intent on going to Rochester and is Monro teaching this winter I am sorry that he ot that into his head. Id rather chop cord wood for a living. Yours as Ever John S MIller

Direct to Company K 29th Regiment Iowa Infantry St Louis Mo. Care of Lieut. Dale

Miss Etta Adee Barrington Yates Co N. Y.