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Rome, December 24, 1862

Dear Sister,

I have written to Nina, but since you ask

how I am I am going to write you a real ego-

tistical letter. I am not sick but I have not been

right well since I had that cold. Mrs. T[ucker] thinks I have

a bad cough, but I don't think I have more than I

have every winter, that is I cough [some?] night and morning

in damp weather, when I sit in a cold church, etc. Dr. [?] never

seemed easy about [me?] would look up when I cough in church, and [br?]

[ing?] me from the door to the carriage and ask how that [soreness?]

was, and I had better take the croton oil, but you know my cough al-

ways seemed worse than they are. The last time he asked me I told him

the [soreness?] was still there just the same, well he said I shall

have to [take?] you you must use the oil, so I told him if he would

send it to me I would by a servant who goes there from here every

night [at end?]. He did not send it for a day or two but then came

[soon?] himself and brought it and asked me about the soreness and said

if I was Mrs. [J?] he would tell me I must; as I was Miss H would tell me he

thought I had better, it would not hurt me much (but I tell

you, he was mistaken in that) and I would find much advantage

from it, he thought if I would use it all this winter I might get

rid of it entirely, so I have rubbed it three times. The rest I think is

only Maria worrying, but I don't think I ought to mind it so

much or would if I were strong, she has a way when she gets out

of doing every little thing which she thinks will give trouble

such as holding her book so I can't see, and a thousand little things which

are too much and too numerous to mention, and I get into such a state

that the very taking her book into my hands makes me tremble

from head to foot and my voice shakes so that I can scarcely

hear her, then she will say, oh yes somebody beside me can get

mad, Miss Hattie is so mad she can hardly speak, but it is

[Page 2]

not so I don't feel angry in the heart it is only the dread of

a contact. I can make her, but it is a constant make. I think

Uncle Fred would know how I feel for I have seen him in

just such a state. Lately too Willie has got to imitating her, I

have given him two whippings for it, and I think I can whip

it out of him. As to changing my place, I would dislike of all

things to do it. It would mortify and distress Mrs. T[ucker] above all

things, she is really very fond of me and just as kind as it is

possible to be. And for all M[aria] does so she is very fond of me too, but she

is as jealous of me as possible, thinks her Mother loves me better than

her, even counts how many apples Cousin Dick brings me to see if

he brings her the same, which I have given him private in-

structions always to do. Mrs T[ucker] can't manage her as well as I can.

She [knows?] how much she can worry her mother in the same way

and she has no sort of judgment if she knows she has behaved badly

in school she will take the opportunity of the dinner table being

full of company to tell it all and scold and scold at the child [later?]

she hardens her, and she don't care, or she says she don't and then she

will publish that to the next person who comes. She now promis-

es to do better, and I shall not [track?] until the first Monday

in Jan, by that time I reckon I shall be rested, and her

Father will be at home. I have concluded not to send

Nina's yarn by mail, but to send it by Pattie Edmunds

who returns to school in Farmville the first Monday in

Jan. How shall I tell her to send it to you? Did you get a

[?] put into Nina's thimble? I want one in mine very

much. If I send it by Pattie could you get one put in and

send it back to me by her when she comes in Febru-

ary? I do want to see you very much, and love you

very dearly my dear Sister, do write to me and don't

measure and count letters. I am not so great a hand

at talking, as you know, so can't make any

letters as long, and you know no one in this part of

the country, besides I [am no one now?] scarcely

Mrs. Bolling is still here, very funny, very ugly [Is?]

[Sideways at the top of page 1]

a nice old lady

helps me with M

don't scold at her

but gives her right

notices of propri-

ety, and what is

to be expected of

her, differs from

me in politics

tho' and if I get

into a discussion

with her comes

the same trembling

and headache. I often

think of what Uncle

[T?] used to say, I won't

talk. Love to all

your loving sister

H.L.P.

You won't know

though that I

weigh 100, more

than I have weighed

for years.