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<html>Williamsburg November 18th 1861 Sunday morning I am in despair. Last night I sat up here with Monty, and at half past five this morning, worn and weary went to bed, but to hear on waking that Mother was quite sick having had a fainting spell, and so sharp a pain in her back as to force her to bed. Where is all this to end? I really do not feel capable of much more nursing, and even if I were bodily able, the spirit is very weak, for, I assure, you I am tired of it and long to feel as if I might go to bed and stay there a week if I wanted to. Bland is too feeble for me to be willing for her to help me, and I am afraid I shall have to place myself at the head of this Hospital whither or no. The next thing is, will I be able to go to Bellfield to see my dear Husband? I fear not, unless, indeed, Mrs. [More?] should not go down until
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the middle or last of the week. I do hope I may not be disappointed, or you either, my dear Husband, I know you will feel my not being able to join you, as much as I shall myself. Monty continues to improve. Bland looks dreadfully, and her voice indicates great weakness. I have made her bitters for her this morning. She says she intends taking them because “Brother Charles ordered them.” but she is so slow about beginning that, I expect, I shall be forced to take her in hand and see her take the [ ? ] quantity. I am at this moment cooking for the sick soldiers at the dining room fire. I suppose, it is best that people should not be allowed to follow their own inclinations too much. But for weeks, not to say months, I have longed for rest, tranquility, to be allowed to be happy in my own way at my won home, where ever that might be. I am afraid you
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will think this a very grumbling letter, and maybe it is, though, I think, all I have said quite natural. [Tanty?] Jones is better, tho’ he has been exceedingly ill. I have not seen them all at home this morning though it is long after twelve o’clock. I went to the Hospital yesterday, and attended to only missionary work, and [ ] interest felt and manifest had =ed. My men at ^ suffered for my personal care very much, I found two of them sicker than when I left them, and one of the two had been very sick, and had needed what I had just sent him. Helen’s man Johnson died on Saturday night. Brother Edwin is going to York to-morrow if well enough, please sir get a letter ready to send back by him. So you know that I am not selfish so far as you are concerned, for I almost hesitate to ask you to write, knowing how much you dislike it. But I have not gotten up to that point and must beg for a letter tho’ I do not think I shall enjoy it, if it is not a free will offering Devotedly your Wife
[Envelope]
Dr. Charles W. Coleman P.A.C.S. Howitzer Camp York Town Va Kindness of Mr. Randolph Bryan Jr.</html>
