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Rome, December 24, 1862

Dear Sister,

I have written to Nina, but since you ask

how I am I am going to write you a real ego-

tistical letter. I am not sick but I have not been

right well since I had that cold. Mrs. T[ucker] thinks I have

a bad cough, but I don't think I have more than I

have every winter, that is I cough [some?] night and morning

in damp weather, when I sit in a cold church, etc. Dr. [?] never

seemed easy about [me?] would look up when I cough in church, and [br?]

[ing?] me from the door to the carriage and ask how that [soreness?]

was, and I had better take the croton oil, but you know my cough al-

ways seemed worse than they are. The last time he asked me I told him

the [soreness?] was still there just the same, well he said I shall

have to [take?] you you must use the oil, so I told him if he would

send it to me I would by a servant who goes there from here every

night [at end?]. He did not send it for a day or two but then came

[soon?] himself and brought it and asked me about the soreness and said

if I was Mrs. [J?] he would tell me I must; as I was Miss H would tell me he

thought I had better, it would not hurt me much (but I tell

you, he was mistaken in that) and I would find much advantage

from it, he thought if I would use it all this winter I might get

rid of it entirely, so I have rubbed it three times. The rest I think is

only Maria worrying, but I don't think I ought to mind it so

much or would if I were strong, she has a way when she gets out

of doing every little thing which she thinks will give trouble

such as holding her book so I can't see, and a thousand little things which

are too much and too numerous to mention, and I get into such a state

that the very taking her book into my hands makes me tremble

from head to foot and my voice shakes so that I can scarcely

hear her, then she will say, oh yes somebody beside me can get

mad, Miss Hattie is so mad she can hardly speak, but it is

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not so I don't feel angry in the heart it is only the dread of

a contact. I can make her, but it is a constant make. I think

Uncle Fred would know how I feel for I have seen him in

just such a state. Lately too Willie has got to imitating her, I

have given him two whippings for it, and I think I can whip

it out of him. As to changing my place, I would dislike of all

things to do it. It would mortify and distress Mrs. T[ucker] above all

things, she is really very fond of me and just as kind as it is

possible to be